Monthly Archives: February 2013

“Sorry!”

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Important words have more than one meaning. That’s easy to see: ‘I love my wife’, and ‘I love going without shoes’ are both true – but they are not the same kind of love.

From flckr user norm_p

In this post, I note two different meanings of the word sorry. They are both good meanings, until we confuse them. We hear and say ‘Sorry!’ often enough to try and avoid confusion.

First, sorry means: I apologise for doing the wrong thing.

Sorry I did not call you when I promised.
Sorry for yelling at you.
Sorry for taking your possessions.
Sorry for gossiping about you.

This sorry acknowledges an offence, a legitimate burr in the relationship. Then it identifies the cause, me. I agree that the offence – great or small – came at my hand. I tell you that you have every right to be disgruntled.

This sorry is a confession. It implies a request for restoration with forgiveness (which, of course, cannot be demanded and may take some time).

Secondly, sorry means: I can explain.

Sorry I’m late, the baby threw up on me as we left the house.
Sorry I took your phone, we needed to call an ambulance.
Sorry for the offence, in my country that word is not rude.

This sorry also acknowledges offence, or a potential for offence. The difference is the cause: it’s an accident, a misunderstanding, an emergency, etc. There’s an explanation. I don’t mean excuse or cop-out, I mean a real explanation.

This sorry is a request for understanding. The implied request is not restoration, but continuation of relationship (‘I’ll tell you what happened because I don’t want anything to come between us’). Who would fail to have compassion on a rushed parent suddenly covered in baby vomit?

But … don’t confuse these two types of sorry.

If you are guilty, don’t explain. That’s a cop-out. This sidesteps guilt and places the blame elsewhere. The excuse overwhelms the confession, as in the examples below. If there’s no confession, there’s no restoration.

Sorry I didn’t call, I thought you’d understand.
Sorry for yelling, but the traffic home was really aggravating.
Sorry for taking your stuff, I didn’t realise they are important to you.
Sorry for gossiping, I had to get it off my chest.

Sadly, these false confessions are easy to find and easy to create. They seem to be near automatic. I’ve done this, and been on the end of this too.

On the other hand, if there’s a real reason something went poorly, stick to explanation. There’s nothing to confess (even if the other person is angry and acts as if there was some unforgivable misdemeanour). There’s no reason to be burdened with imaginary guilt. No doubt you will incur some real guilt soon enough!

When we say, ‘Sorry!’, we do well to know what sort of sorry we need – and then stick to it.

 


 

Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the apostles

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Reading the book of Acts, I have always been intrigued by Acts 1:12-26. It’s where the eleven surviving apostles, with the aid of the other disciples, appoint Matthias to be twelfth man.

For a start, why not move straight from Jesus’ departure to the gift of the Spirit at Pentecost? Surely Luke needed a good editor to keep the story flowing! Secondly, if Matthias is so important to meet, why do we never hear anything else about him?

As usual, my ignorance is also the opportunity to learn. A moment’s reflection tells me this: we need to know that the apostles are the witnesses to Jesus and the resurrection. I am not a witness, for I was not there.

There are all sorts of implications of this, both challenging and comforting. The challenge is that we need to listen to the apostolic witness, now written for us in the New Testament. The importance of the apostles’ witness also opens up Christianity to real and sustained historical scrutiny. That’s good! (But can make Christians squirm when sceptics get stuck in. We need not fear the historical questions – they are the right questions to ask.)

A comfort is that the Christian faith does not depend on us. We do not announce ourselves, or our own experience. We announce Jesus Christ: descended from David and risen from the dead. Our confidence and feelings go up and down. But the reality of Jesus never changes.

But back to Acts, here’s an idea I’d like to float. Agree, or shoot it down, as you see fit.

In Acts 1, Jesus ascends to the Father. He will return, but the physical presence of God in the person of the Son has gone. In Acts 2, the Holy Spirit is poured out on all believers. The spiritual presence of God, in the third person of the trinity, is the present reality.

God the Spirit is, in part, a replacement for God the Son.

Between that going and replacement, we read about the apostles. Judas went, he left his place among the witnesses. Matthias replaced him, and became an apostolic witness of the resurrection. Is it possible that the band of apostles mirror the persons of God – Son and Spirit? That is, in both cases one has gone but another has replaced him. If so, this underlines the importance of the 12. They not only speak as witnesses, but they collectively embody the change from pre-Easter to post-Pentecost.

I don’t think this is the whole explanation of verses 12-26, but I suggest it as part of the picture. For further thought, over to you!

 


 

What not to wear, according to Ephesians 6

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This is the very unauthorised version of Ephesians 6:10-20. If the apostle Paul were a modern Australian, even a church-goer, it might run like this:

10Finally, be strong when you grab what you want. 11Put on the whole casual wardrobe of God, that you may be able to chill with style despite the attacks of the evil power of ‘busyness.’ 12For we do not struggle against flesh and blood – certainly not! – nor against any spiritual powers of darkness. It would be so naive to believe in those authorities.
13Therefore, take up the whole wardrobe of God, for he dresses you in a way that’s chic yet not flashy, and in the end people will say, ‘You’ve got style.’
14Stand, therefore, having fastened the belt of clichés that don’t offend, and having put on the breastplate of ‘My life is mine and no business of yours’, 15and, as shoes for your feet, the readiness to move to a new church or set of relationships when things become a little challenging.
16In all circumstances take up the shield of self-confidence, with which you can extinguish the flaming darts of conscience; 17and take the helmet of niceness, and the sword of the Spirit, which is that inner voice that we claim to be from God, 18praying occasionally in the car, with a couple of half-hearted standard requests.
To that end, don’t become too enthusiastic or obsessed, but generally forget to pray for anyone other than self, 19though sometimes for Christians in the public eye, that they won’t open their mouths so much and embarrass us with all their God-talk, 20especially those whose lame excuse is ‘God’s word is clear and compelling.’

 


 

Lord’s prayer: family devotions

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Lurid Lord's prayerBelieve it or not, this is the Lord’s prayer – the form for prayer that Jesus taught his disciples. In this image, it kind of looks familiar and kind of draws attention but we kind of don’t really get what it’s about.

And perhaps that’s just like prayer: as easy as speaking to our Father, mentioned in so many Christian conversations, but not something in which we ever feel mastery.

I decided we’d look at prayer in our family Bible reading. Using the Lord’s prayer, as recorded by Matthew. Here’s how we did it.

Method

Each evening, after dinner (that’s our usual time), I read Matthew 6:9-13. We then discussed one line of the prayer. Then we prayed it together by reading the Bible passage. The next night the pattern was repeated as we moved to the next line of the prayer. By the end, even our youngest non-reader was making a stab at saying the words of this prayer.

To finish the sequence of prayer devotions, we read Matthew 6:5-8 to hear Jesus’ warning about using prayer as a pathway to pride. By this stage we knew the words of the prayer … well, perhaps our five and seven year olds had less accurate recitation!

Content

Here, as far as I can recall, is what I highlighted for each line of the Lord’s prayer. It’s not written in the conversational dinner-time style, but the points are what we talked about.

Our Father in heaven
Prayer starts with God, the Father. We speak to him – we don’t send him a memo or an invoice. He’s Father! What’s more, all who trust him do this, God is our Father. Prayer, then, is a kind of family activity in which the children seek out the Father who is the giver of life. This is very worthwhile, because he is our Father in heaven, the place of real authority –  he is the power above all.

Hallowed be your name
What’s in a name? A person’s character and reputation, that’s what. The name is the whole message and expression of God. And because it’s a word, it is communication. God’s name is spoken to people and received by people. When God’s name is spoken truly, people know God properly. God’s name, in a sense, is all of creation rightly listening to him. That is, God is hallowed, known as holy. That’s exactly what we want to see. So we ask for it.

Your kingdom come
God’s kingdom is not a space on a map. It is God’s rule, unchallenged and right. This line reminds us that God is the only ruler – I am not the king! It’s important to see that these two requests follow on from ‘Our Father in heaven.’ The Father, in the Bible, is responsible for the family. Sometimes even kings are called ‘father’ of their nation. And the kind of king/father we have is holy, because he’s in heaven.

In other words, to pray ‘Our Father in heaven’ is automatically to pray ‘Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come.’

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven
There’s a third prayer request for something about God. What should we pray for as of first priority? For God’s rule and will and ways. The first good thing about prayer is that it rejoices in God’s name, kingdom and will.

Yet there’s a shadow in this prayer. To make these three requests is a reminder: God’s name is treated as mud, his king is ignored, and his will is flouted. This world is not right. So sad! What can be done!? Major news: Jesus shows that God uses prayer as he fixes this world. It’s a mystery how God does this. But we know what we need to know – that prayer, like the Lord’s prayer, is good in a world that does not yet do God’s will.

We can be confident in all these prayers, because Jesus prayed the same thing – three times! (Matthew 26:36-45) And God answered this prayer, through the cross of Jesus. God’s will was that the death of Jesus forgive us of sin. Certainly now God will hear our prayers, for we are his children.

Give us this day our daily bread
God loves us, because he’s our Father. No detail is beneath him. Our bread is a day by day need. Our bread is also a day by day prayer point. At the same time, this is a prayer that skewers greed. Instead of asking to own 1000s of bakeries, we ask for the day’s food. That’s plenty, for we will let tomorrow worry about itself.

Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors
Debts are what we owe. They’re expensive, and it’s right to pay. The trouble is, we cannot pay our debt to God because our wrongs are so many. All we can do is ask for God to wipe away the debt.

But there’s more! We ask for forgiveness as we also forgive. Forgiveness, we see, is central to God’s kingdom. Everyone in God’s kingdom is a person of forgiveness: we love it. We love forgiveness from God, we love to show forgiveness to people, we love to encourage forgiveness between others. Everyone who loves God’s kingdom loves forgiveness.

Now look at when we ask for forgiveness: it’s after we speak to God as Father. We were already God’s children, as disciples of Jesus. We do not flip-flop into God’s family and out of it depending on ‘sins.’ When we trust Jesus, we are always in God’s family – always – though we will have to keep coming to God for help with our debts.

Lord's prayer

 

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one
After prayer, we keep living. As we live, we face temptation. It’s not bad to be tempted – what are some of your temptations or tests? The bad comes from within us, as we follow temptation and take pleasure in evil (or in the evil one). Since we do not want to dishonour God like this, we ask for his help. ‘Please don’t lead me that dangerous way, but help me go this good way.’

We see that prayer for the whole world is also prayer for me and for us. We will be changed by God, as we pray in the manner Jesus taught us.