Category Archives: Christian living

Quick review: Six steps to loving your church

Six Steps to Loving Your ChurchThis is another in the Matthias Media series of Six Steps … studies. There’s some video input (two short videos each session), as well as discussion questions. It’s well-suited to use in a group, but I reckon these questions could also work for a solo reader.

The studies are for any and every Christian. And they aim to help us move from being consumers and users of church to being loving servants of church. It aims to be a series that changes behaviour at church, as well as thinking.

Fitting in with the ‘behaviour and thinking change’ aim, these six steps do not include in-depth and lengthy study of Bible passages. A couple of the studies don’t look at the Bible at all. It felt a bit odd not to open the Bible – but perhaps that’s evidence of how I’ve been small-group-inculturated. In any case, the six weeks are all underpinned by clearly-explained biblical ideas about church.

Also fitting the aim of real change, each week has assignments. For example, don’t sit in your ‘normal’ seat at church. Or, think of people to invite to church, then share those plans with the group.

In my group, people loved the assignments. They made a strong link between the ideas we discussed and our regular behaviour. By making the link, we were better able to remember the ideas, too.

Because the ideas link from study to study, and because assignments are set and then followed-up, it really is best for people to get to each study. It’s possible to benefit even after missing part of the series – but much more possible if you can make it to each of the six steps.

The discussion guide has leaders’ notes. They proved mostly superfluous to us, but would perhaps give confidence to a very new discussion leader.

I highly recommend this short course. It can fit in well as part of an existing small group (as long as you usually spend more time in the Bible and at prayer). It can also be used as a stand-alone series, perhaps in a church ministry training programme.

 


 

When gossip is good

Gossip is, undoubtedly, a most effective way to hurt people.

from www.veryicon.com

from www.veryicon.com

Gossip is part of Paul’s portrait of what it looks like to be debased (Romans 1:29). Tales about people are the fast food of conversation: salty, fatty, tasty (Proverbs 18:8).

So I am glad when Christians speak about the danger of gossip. I’ve seen gossip addressed in sermons, church announcements, Christian books, and on line writing. Great!

In these, the final exhortation is usually something like this: there’s no need to talk about another person, except to the person. Or: just don’t talk about people.

This is, perhaps, the purist view. It’s appealing – we know there’s danger, so say nothing.

I’m not convinced.

The new testament example suggests that talking about people – even in their absence – was normal. And OK.

When caring for a church widow it’s worth knowing if she has a reputation for good works (see 1 Timothy 5:9-10). Reputations are found on people’s lips. It’s nice to commend widows like this. There must also have been ones who failed the reputation test.

Likewise, an overseer in church must be well thought of by outsiders (1 Timothy 3:7). We find out that information by talking about it – with those who don’t even believe the gospel.

Jesus himself pumped his disciples for the latest goss: Who do the crowds say that I am? (Luke 9:18) He expected his followers to be part of the rumour mill.

So I am against gossip, but I am not a gossip purist. This may seem like a trivial point. I think it matters. Here are a couple of ways when I think it counts.

  • Firstly, Christians are to live by love for God and neighbour. We’re about people and relationships. Relationships involve talk and pondering. Gossip purists make it simpler than people and relationships by reducing things to a rule.
  • Secondly, banning ‘gossip’ can provide cover for wrong. Shady activity can flourish, undiscovered, under the moral pressure of ‘Don’t talk like that’.

Please don’t gossip. But please do talk about people. Perhaps you should now go and have a chat about this blog post. Talk about whether I am right or wrong!

 


 

Is your faith big enough?

Jesus said to his disciples,

For truly I say to you, if you have faith like the grain of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’, and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.
(Matthew 17:20)

And that means the amount of faith is not relevant. Mustard seeds are small! (See also Matthew 13:31-32, Mark 4:31-32.)

In other words, if you trust the truth you have enough faith.

Knowing the deception of the human heart, therefore, we expect that Christians and churches will sometimes get this all wrong. Beware anyone, then, who says you do not have enough faith.

 


 

Should Christians watch violence?

Is there any effect on individuals, or society, when people watch lots of violent media? Or if they play gore-filled computer games? Or sexualised content on the internet?

You and I can easily find arguments for freedom to watch anything, as well as arguments in favour of tightly restricted access. And such arguments will have social science studies to back them up. Perhaps I’m too cynical, but I tend to see that groups who commission social science studies get results that reinforce their initial beliefs. Science isn’t as ‘objective’ as we assume.

Instead of Professor Suchandsuch, I am turning to an unqualified Jewish carpenter. He happens also to be Lord and Saviour of the world. How does following Jesus guide media consumers like us?

All foods are clean, all people are not
Jesus did not follow the empty human traditions of his day. Special hand washing techniques, he knew, do not place people nearer to God. Yet Jesus went further: he also taught that even the God-given food laws of the Old Testament do nothing for godliness. “There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him” (see Mark 7:14-22). The problem is the human heart – yours and mine – from which arises every evil.

This tells us that no media can create a murderer, or adulterer. Advertising does not create greed. None of us can blame another for defiled thoughts, behaviour, and conscience. Defilement is all our own work! In a real sense the murderer who copies a gruesome movie scene has merely found a media image that fits the already-existing violence their own heart. Perhaps the movie helped uncover it – but it was already there.

Lamplight
Jesus did, however, warn us about what enters the body. This time he spoke of light: “When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness” (see Luke 11:33-36). What we watch counts, for the eye is the lamp of the body. We are to watch and watch and watch Jesus – the one who is greater than Solomon, greater than Jonah, greater than all. In other words, our eye obeys our faith. We watch what we trust.

So, it’s worth asking, why do we watch any media? What is it we seek, what is it we see? As Jesus said, be careful.

Heart and eye in practice
What Christians watch comes down to heart and eye. We take responsibility for our own heart: no one else is to blame. We are careful with our eye: we choose what will illuminate our soul, not darken it. My summary of the two principles is this:

  1. If what you watch stirs the evil already within your heart, stop watching
  2. Choose to watch that which gives light, not dark

What that looks like in real-life will vary enormously. Here are some examples:

  • If you can watch without stirring up evil, you could be part of the classification board for media. I’d hate to do it, but am thankful for the national system to review and classify
  • If you find yourself copying the unhelpful language or thought process of a popular show, you happily give up watching
  • You might watch something you don’t like, just because people you care for are watching it. You want to know what ‘light’ these friends are attracted to
  • Christians won’t make simplistic protests that blame media for all social evils. We know the problem is the human heart
  • Christians won’t blithely ignore what’s happening in media. We want to give every eye light to watch, not darkness

No doubt there are many more examples. Can you think of any? Please share them in the comments below. Or perhaps you know of a knotty media problem you’d like to share. Again, please comment. The media are so prevalent that we need to talk about media consumption more often.

 


 

Quick review: Just Do Something

Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's WillJust Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The subtitle promises a book about finding God’s will – and this book certainly delivers on this promise.

As I read it, I think this book has a second purpose: to stun Christians out of passive apathy. DeYoung claims, ‘Passivity is a plague among Christians.’

In a short summary, DeYoung’s argument is that the apparently ‘spiritual’ waiting and sign-seeking that Christians exercise is a waste of energy. God has given us in his word what we need to make decisions, and this does not include a promise of detailed road maps for us navigate by.

Therefore (his second purpose), learn God’s word and do stuff!

I recommend this book. There are others out there just a good on the idea of God’s will. But I don’t know of any that are as motivating in stirring us up to active Christian obedience.

As with many American books for general readers, the writing and layout are great for understanding. But this also comes with a number of American-specific cultural references (what sort of honey is made by Applebees?, and what on earth is a Piggly Wiggly?).

If you want something for an Australian reader, try Guidance and the Voice of God. But I’d still recommend this book for anyone striving to live for Jesus Christ.

View all my reviews


 

Quick review: connect

Connect: How to Double Your Number of VolunteersConnect: How to Double Your Number of Volunteers by Nelson Searcy

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The major encouragement I found with this book is a simple point: Christian service is a wonderful and good thing, therefore helping more people serve more is also a wonderful way to help their growth in godliness.

It’s not a drag to serve, or ask people to serve. There’s no need to apologise for providing opportunity, not for expecting believers to contribute. We follow the Lord who came to serve, and who taught that the greatest among us will be the least.

This is a reminder I needed.

Searcy’s book is largely practical in outlook. It is a ‘how to’ as promised by the subtitle. He has some theological and biblical material – and helpfully insists that the starting point is to clarify our theology of ministry. But most of the book is about systems, and tips on using those systems.

He writes of getting people to make the first step of service, of the need for clear expectations, of ‘ladders’ of service from the simple to the most dedicated, of celebration and thankfulness, and of many other practicalities.

The systems might work in your church setting, or they might not quite fit. In either case, reading Searcy’s principles and practice should help you reflect productively on your local situation.

Sometimes I found the practical bent unduly influenced the theological reflections. For instance, Searcy noted that human bodies have systems, that people are made in God’s image, and therefore God loves systems. This is backwards Bible-reading (humans image God therefore God images humans).

So don’t be naive about the theological rationale offered – a true warning for any writing! – but benefit from Searcy’s love of getting people involved in humbly serving the Suffering Servant.

View all my reviews

 

 


 

Generalisations, stupid & sensible

While at theological college I learned heaps. Mostly this was gradual and grain by grain. There were few ‘light bulb’ moments when a whole new thought clicked into place.

But I remember one light bulb experience.

It concerns generalisations. A fellow student, disgruntled for some trivial matter, shared his general view. “The trouble with all the rectors of Sydney is …”

What an insight this was for me – that a young student believed he had enough knowledge to generalise about well over 200 senior ministers. He knew! My flash of learning: what a stupid thing.

It’s not that generalisations are a problem. It’s that some generalisations are a problem. There are sensible generalisations and there are stupid generalisations. That day I decided I could not trust this student’s generalisations. But I immediately thought of a number of friends whose generalisations I trust.

generalisation T-shirtGeneralisation T-shirtI hear people make all sorts of general comments. They can be about men, women, single people, child-raising, churches, atheists, journalists, sports people, musicians, … I try to be careful, even wary. I want to know why do you say that?, how did you reach your that conclusion?

Many relationship issues arrive packaged as a generalisation. ‘My kids never listen.’ ‘My Bible study leader has a grudge against me.’ ‘My boss hates women.’ ‘My wife has no interest in sex.’

Church conflict shares the same packaging. ‘This church is not friendly.’ ‘No one trusts the pastor.’ ‘All the men are lazy.’ ‘The music team isn’t trying.’

What to do?
I suggest the best way to avoid stupid generalisations is to delay making sweeping statements. Before drawing wide-ranging conclusions, stay with the messy specific details. Listen first, speak later, and really delay anger (yes, it’s James 1:19).

Take the above example: ‘My kids never listen.’ That’s the generalisation – it’s one that can hurt both parent and child. The parent treats it as a universal truth, and might give up trying. The child will pick up what’s going on and likely conform to the expectation.

It’s usually more helpful to deal with specifics. Asking, ‘Why do you say that?’ might lead to: his room is still messy though I told him to clean up; during dinner I asked her about school but she didn’t really acknowledge me; it’s a busy month, so I need to make most of our time together, but it’s not working. Listen to the person, listen to the situation, listen to the details. There might then be a specific way to change.

Just this year I stumbled over the same idea expressed slightly differently. In The Fifth Discipline, Peter Senge warns against the ‘leap to abstraction’. With concrete evidence of short, impersonal staff meetings we might abstract a conclusion that the manager dislikes people. What we did not know is that she has a hearing problem made worse in group settings. Senge says to beware the leap to abstraction. Deal with the concrete as much as possible. Good advice.

 


 

Responding is teaching

Who of you fathers, if his son says, “Hey moron, give me a drink”, would not give him a clip round the ear?

If my children were as rude to me as the above imaginary comment, there would certainly be a ‘serious father-child moment’!

I admit I’ve twisted what Jesus said (see Luke 11:11-13, Matthew 7:9-11). But the above is what I thought after overhearing the following exchange:

Daughter: “[Screech, moan, whine, fake tears. Accusingly pointed finger.]”
Mum: “Well you stood up. He can sit there if he wants.”

That is, there was a conversation where whining behaviour counted as words. And both participants behaved as if this communication was perfectly normal.

How does such a pattern become normal? It’s not normal when the whinger whinges. It becomes normal when the responder responds normally. The reply determines where the conversation will go. In my mind, the power in conversations lies with the person who replies.

That power can be used poorly, or with great effect. When my kids grunt at me, obviously thirsty or hungry, I could choose simply to give them what they want. My power of reply teaches, ‘It’s OK when you grunt – keep doing it.’ You can guess what they will do next time hunger strikes.

Or I could choose to say, ‘I will not get that for you until you use words.’

How I respond teaches what is acceptable. Responding is teaching.

Sometimes this raises a difficult dilemma. The perfect illustration of this is in Proverbs 26:4-5. Both pieces of wisdom are true, but you may only choose one way in a given situation. Nevertheless, the principle holds: responding is teaching.

Where this works out extends to many places. It’s not simply a parent and child pattern. It’s also:

  • How we listen to the boss at work
  • How we treat the referee or umpire
  • The active or passive response we make to advertising
  • Our tone of voice to the teacher
  • The learned dynamics of a Bible study group
  • The way we gain attention (or reward people) in churches
  • How we behave when driving

To go again to the book of Proverbs:

To make an apt answer is a joy to a man,
and a word in season, how good it is!
(Proverbs 15:23)

So now the power is in your hands. How will you respond?

 


 

 

 

Salvation and law

Acts 15 is an internal Christian struggle about different people sharing the same faith in Jesus. Both Jew and Gentile joined together in trusting Jesus for forgiveness – and it lead to (helpful) problems.

When our church looked at this chapter, I produced some pictures to accompany the sermon. In the interests of recycling, here they are re-processed for the interwebs.

The Acts debate was internal to the ‘organisation’ – church – as different groups argued their points of view. Some Pharisees said, ‘They must obey the law, otherwise God will not save them.’ Others determined never to allow such an imposition: God saved Gentiles while they were Gentile, and without requiring a preliminary journey through Judaism.

This was an internal struggle of the mind, too, as Christians thought through the reality of what Jesus was doing. What Jesus was doing, and still does, is take people from death to life. The dead are without hope. The living are eternally blessed. The Bible uses a number of terms to describe the cross over: the new birth, cleansing, redemption, … The particular term of the Acts debate is salvation. Jesus saves dead and gives life, as in this diagram.

Salvation

Importantly, salvation is totally a work of God. In shorthand, grace saves. ‘We believe that we [Jews] will be saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus just as they [Gentiles] will.’ (Acts 15:11).

Since grace is 100% of God, we know that salvation is never the result of human merit. Salvation is not a reward for doing things. So, tweaking my diagram, see the two images below. Grace is good, but merit receives the big cross.

Grace

Merit

The next two pictures parallel the above two. Grace is accepted by faith. We trust that God’s provision is sufficient and fully able to save. In contrast, merit means the ‘dead’ person must do something (even if it be minuscule) that contributes to creating new life. Merit-thinking leads to salvation by law. ‘What brings merit?’ inevitably produces ‘Follow these laws.’

It’s a huge error if one tries to combine merit with grace. Grace and faith are always obliterated by any hint of merit and law.

Faith

Faith plus law

Yet this Bible passage holds a paradox. To communicate ‘grace without law’, the group send out this message:

“Therefore my judgment is that we should not trouble those of the Gentiles who turn to God, but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood. For from ancient generations Moses has had in every city those who proclaim him, for he is read every Sabbath in the synagogues.”
(Acts 15:19-21)

It sounds like: no law!; and, here are some laws for you. Or: don’t trouble Gentiles with the law; and, the Gentiles have heard the law of Moses already. Were they talking out of both sides of the mouth? They said no to circumcision – so why do they instruct about idols, immorality and food?

This is the place of my final picture. As you look at it, note that it has nothing to do with salvation. The cross-over arrow is gone.

Living

Death has certain type of existence. So too does life. We could multiply the descriptions in each box, but I’m sure the idea is clear enough. There is such a thing as Christian living.

It’s handy to note that, quite frequently, Christian living will appear law-like. For example, if you love a Jewish person you will eat kosher food when you share a meal. Or again, every Christian will flee idols. Does kosher food bring salvation? Does God save people because they avoid idol feasts? Of course not! He saves by grace.

In Acts 15, the letter of instruction helped Gentile believers – saved by grace through faith – avoid the life of death and avoid offending Jewish Christians. Gentiles were saved, not by law. But saved Gentiles were called to live for Christ who saved them, and some of this behaviour was law-like.

Are you wary of legalism? (That’s when we place ‘law’ in the salvation arrow.) This is a legitimate concern. Make sure, however, that the teaching you condemn really does put law in that wrong place. Not all ‘law’ language is legalism.

Are you worried about Christian lax living? (That’s when we don’t bother living the godly life Jesus wants us to.) This too is a legitimate concern. Make sure, however, that you don’t give the impression that our behaviour saves us. Salvation is always only by grace.

 


 

Ten laws of prayer, and one instruction

  1. Distraction was not invented by social media, but by a mind trying to pray
  2. The day you really can concentrate on morning prayer is also the day the fascinating colourful birds frolic outside the window
  3. The invisible cafe worker collects amazingly loud crockery the instant you pray with your friend
  4. Eyes closed for prayer causes amnesia for names, starting with people in the same room
  5. The quietest person when sharing prayer points has the loudest tummy rumbles in prayer time
  6. The moment for prayer is also the moment for long-lost friends to call or to send a text message – and the phone volume setting is 100%
  7. Our most accurate and complete shopping lists are assembled during prayer
  8. While finding the perfect Bible verse to pray for a friend, the copyright notice becomes strangely compelling reading
  9. We know exactly how many times he said “yeah, Lord”, but have no memory of what he asked God
  10. Everyone else sounds so heartfelt, and they never stumble in their words

So, says Jesus, stick at prayer!

And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.

The parable is in Luke 18:1-8.